Be a Pleasure Seeker

Be a Pleasure Seeker

Written by Lori Buckley

Being a pleasure seeker is a great way to experience a more satisfying life, be a happier person, and have better sex and relationships. Here are some ways to experience more pleasure in your life.


*Pleasure is an experience and/or a feeling. While we can sometimes experience pleasure with our thoughts and fantasies, pleasure is most enjoyable and powerful through experiences and sensations (being aware of our senses). Focus your attention and awareness on the sensations in your body. When you catch yourself in your head (thinking, worrying, judging, etc.), just go back to being in the present moment by focusing on the sensation(s)s you’re feeling, one at a time. You can practice this during sex, while eating, cooking, walking, taking a shower, or during any daily activity. This is a mindfulness practice that becomes easier with consistent practice and time.

*Awareness and knowledge of the things that give you pleasure is important to experience more pleasure in your life. Make a list of all the things you can think of that you enjoy and that feel good to you. For example; that first cup of coffee in the morning, the way your partner smiles at you, being enthusiastically welcomed at the door by your dog, the smells of the outdoors, reading a great novel, learning or experiencing something new, cooking or eating food you love, doing something nice for someone else, the softness of your clean sheets, etc. Take daily walks and notice the people and beauty around you, and take daily pictures of the things you see that bring you joy. Commit to a daily practice of creating and experiencing things that give you pleasure and bring you joy.

*Self-Pleasure is a wonderful way to experience emotional and physical pleasure. Without the goal of orgasm, take your time to touch and explore your body in ways that feel good to you. Create a relaxing and sexy space for yourself where you know you won’t be distracted. Give yourself as much time as you want, with a minimum of 15 minutes. It can be in a bathtub, on your bed, or anywhere you feel comfortable. You can use your hands, a feather, silk gloves, or a vibrator. Love yourself through giving yourself pleasurable touch and sensations.

*Sex with a partner is one of life’s greatest pleasures. Unfortunately, sex can sometimes feel more like a chore than a thing of joy. When we focus on “performing” or giving or “achieving”, or are not able to be fully present in our body, sex is often disappointing. When we focus on our pleasure and expressing what we like and want, sex can be fun and exciting, and extremely pleasurable. It is something we can look forward to and enjoy.

Life can be challenging at times, and when we’re feeling overwhelmed, stressed or tired it’s easy to forget to have fun or to experience pleasure or joy. However, when we seek pleasure…we will find it!